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AFSC 'Bangers & Mash' ORDERS
Friday 20th - Saturday 21st - Sunday 22nd April 2012

By Darren Bolton and Kirk Stevens

Darren Bolton..............

Apologies for the length of this write up - I got started and just couldnt stop !!! My enthusiasm for this write up reflects
how i felt about our weekend i suppose. Read on if you've got 15 mins to spare...

Friday 12:30 - preparation done - scooter checked and ready for its maiden rally. (ok with hindsight another check on the exhaust manifold stud nuts might have paid dividends... but we'll get to that later...)

Just about to put my outer riding gear on when...one of the aircrew decides to spring a last minute problem (0f his own making) on me. For those who've dealt with aircrew before, you'll recognise the pattern here...

"I have a problem which has occurred because I am unable to sort my own admin out. However, because I am aircrew, it cant be my fault - it must be yours. I therefore now expect you to solve my problem for me and I have adjusted my attitude accordingly so that you can enjoy my well practised look of arrogance and indignation"

I then proceeded to kick my own office door with such force that I convinced myself that I'd broken a bone in my foot.
However, being a newly qualified 'civvie' I am now indoctrinated into the belief that, 'the customer is always right' ! Consequently, I swallowed the bitter pill of professionalism and sorted the poor gentleman's dilemma for him.

Now running somewhat late, with a throbbing foot and an unproven Lambretta auto, i set off from the wilds of East Yorkshire for the weekends destination - Bangers and Mash for the Club Thrash.

Having just passed Junction 29 on the M1, I made that most basic of schoolboy errors - I made an inward, gloaty, smile that the Lambretta had 'done me proud'....

...and then the engine's cylinder decided that a restrictive exhaust system was no longer required and somehow 'ejected' the manifold pipe complete !

I pulled in to the services, expecting to find a hole or missing stud nut to be the explanation for the deafening roar now emanating from the GY6 150cc cylinder. Having realised that a 10cm missing manifold pipe was not going to be 'bodgeable' (but how wrong i was...but we'll get to that later...) I decided to chance the last 20 miles or so. A quick call to Cav to let him know of my revised ETA and it was back to the motorway.

My first time at Bangers and Mash and I found it straight away. Dead easy. Didnt get lost at all. Of course I realised you have to go through the town's one way system and double back on yourself. Who wouldnt have got that from the hastily printed google map....ahem !

Finally arrived at the check point and provided my prepaid ticket to the lovely lady on the gate. Simon's eye catching chop pulled up alongside and Si gave me some rudimentary directions as to where the Club was set up.

And what a camp it was !

Just next to the main tent, adorned with our magnificent club banner, sat the Boons, welcoming me to the Thrash.

I was quickly advised not to venture too far onto the muddy ground with the scooter, but to leave the Lambretta parked on the road. I turned the scooter around, slipped the throttle, pulled the clutch in panic (which didnt work as autos dont have manual clutches - stupid boy !) and promptly shot over the road and up the small bank, coming to rest (thankfully) at the top of the rise. A quick look over the shoulder confirmed my worst fears - the 'faux pas' had been witnessed by all ! Not a chance in hell of playing that one down !

I slunk away in shame and assembled the tent. A quick change into non riding clobber and it was up and out !

Seemed to be about 30 or more scooters parked on the road adjacent to our tented area which was roughly equalled by a corresponding amount of tents. Great part of the weekend for me - the welcoming greeting of other club members. Everyone seemed in good spirits despite the temperature and damp feel to the air.

A few too many tins and a few of us headed for the on site bar. I can recall the rock and roll band who played a set you wouldnt ordinarily hear on a scooter rally, but I enjoyed them nonetheless - maybe because they were that bit different. I joined Nathan for a few beers and then I succumbed to the lure of Mistress Bacardi... and remembered no more...

...until 3am when I awoke in my wet (not urine I hasten to add !) sleeping bag. The tent flaps were wide open and I was lying in a small lake. Thankfully, Mistress Bacardi bade me forget my misery and return to slumber...

Saturday morning - and, unbelievably (!) no hangover. Cav handed me a gratefully received cup of tea and it was time for a chat before we assembled for group breakfast. I hung the green slug up to dry before joining Cav as pillion on his 3 wheeler (as the Lamby Auto would most likely attract the unwanted attentions of the local constbulary, were I to venture into town on it !)

Sue assumed the role of Club cameraperson en route to the breakfast venue (see FB for the footage) and we all filed into the pub in fine and orderly military fashion. Slightly elevated price for breakfast to account for those who hadnt made it, but after a (timely !) reminder, Si asked for the extra breakfasts we'd had to pay for, so we didnt lose out !

Suitably stuffed we made our way to the town's memorial which was only 50 yards down the road. Sue Boon laid the Club Wreath and we all paid a respectful minute's silence in honour of the Club members that Simon reminded us of, who were no longer amongst us. This is another part of the weekend that I, personally, value very highly. This part of the weekend touches people in different ways and for some present the emotion produced by the act of remembrance was clearly evident.

We concluded the memorial visit with a club photograph. "Tallest on the right, shortest on the left" - i decided to leave Cav and head for the kerb...

Cracking Club photo this year but I have to say, personally we'll have to go some to beat 2011's group photgraph which has pride of place on my office wall.

Back to camp site, via Morrisons for beer replenishment and it was worth getting back to see Uggy emerge from his tent with the worst looking hangover I have ever seen - top man !

I had all intentions of enjoying the custom show and entertainment offered by the Bangers and Mash organisers, settling for the relative shame of an AA recovery ride home with the stricken Lamby.

However I had not banked on the selfless, spanner monkey that is Chris Green. Ably assisted by Bones, Chris repeatedly offered his saturday afternoon time to assist me in attempting to bodge the Lamby in order to get me home without recourse to the AA. This was in addition to assisting Dave H with his Vespa problems. After some discussion I wandered off to the parts fair where, unbeleivably, the only spares stall had an exhaust manifold for a taiwanese GY6 Honda clone ! Fate, it seemed, had decided that I would be riding home !
First problem of finding a manifold solved - now we had to somehow link the manifold to the remaining exhaust pipework...

...Chris dispatched me to the local B&Q for some Gas piping. Cav kindly loaned me his 3 wheeler (which, incidentally, is quite nice to ride !) for the trip.
No metal flexible gas piping available, but some plumbing, metal sheathed, 22mm, flexible pipe was available which, as the collar looked like it would fit snugly into the exhaust manifold seemed the next best thing (but unfortunately wasnt !).

After a number of hours (between downpours !) 'fettling', Chris got the manifold and pipe assembled and we decided, in view of the impending BBQ (and likelihood of Mik 'pyromaniac' Boon using the Lambretta as an accelerant to start said BBQ) to use the B&Q pipe as an exhaust in its own right !

I must give Al Chester his due at this point and say that Al highlighted the fact that the pipe was not to be used 'above 70 deg c'. However this being considered a minor consideration, Al's point was conceded...but ignored.(rather unwisely as it would turn out !)

A quick blast up and down the drag proved the makeshift exhaust to be of legendary 'rally bodge' status and cemented Chris Green as Spanner Monkey extraordinaire !!!

I wont labour the point cos I know Chris doesnt like a fuss made, but his and Bones' willingness to help me out, giving up their saturday afternoon, epitomises what our club is all about - nuff said.

Onto the BBQ - bloody marvelous and I make apology for not assisting with the cooking as i said i would do - but it would have been bang out of order to leave Chris seeing to my scooter without me being there to assist. Not that I was a miss - the food was simply bliddy marvellous - hats off to Nick and Si and all who had a hand in the food. And I simply have to make reference to Al Cammo's cake ! It was the touches like Al's cake that just added up in making the whole weekend tremendous. Food over and Si gave us a rousing speech and a genuinely surprising, but welcome toast to the future of the club. I think it was a great choice because the future of the club certainly is worth toasting after the success of this weekend.

Paddy, Chris, Bones and I had a few more 'private' toasts to Her Majesty, before Simon arrived with what i can only describe as, a bottle of Drain Cleaner from Poland. Unfortunately he wasnt offering it, to use to clean the BBQ, the intention was for us to burn the inside of our collective Tracheas with it !

I positioned myself between Hoggy and Chris Green in the mistaken belief that I would be excused the ritual, being of diminshed stature and therefore more delicate tummy...

...wrong, wrong, wrong.

It was still burning on the monday as I left for work. I can only say that this stuff explains why Poland now has a severe football hooligan problem...

Hoggy, quite wisely as it turned out, decided to allow his ration to exit back the way it came, behind the main tent and for the next two days i found myself repeatedly wishing I'd done the same !

Worth mentioning was the two visitors behind us (anyone remember who they were ?) who had 3 shots each !!! I remarked at the time that I wasnt aware that the paras were joining us !!!

Sing songs were then the order of the day with Simon and Uggy in fine voice. It was by now getting on and we decided to head along to the evening's entertainment, before Mick Boon ran out of things to throw on the fire... he had been eyeing me suspiciously for a good 5 minutes, and i was worried i was small enough to wedge into the half barrel BBQ....

The first band of the evening were a makeshift Ska / two tone cover group. I did overhear some criticism of their set - particularly the slow tempo of their songs, but to be honest, after lager, port, red wine and Polish Fire water, I hadnt a care in the world and had somehow turned into the finest dancer the world has ever seen, with an inexhaustible supply of energy....

...I decided to look for the St Johns Ambulance team outside during the 'Ramonas' set and settled for some fresh air and some chat as the all-girl Ramones tribute act didnt really appeal to me.

I decided to be sensible and go back to my tent for a good nights sleep as I was riding early the next morning.....

.....or at least thats what I should have done.... Unfortunately, she was waiting behind the bar for me again....Mistress Bacardi.

And then it was Sunday ! only this time the Mistress had saved up 2 days worth of hangover to punish me with at the same time - the Bitch.

Superbodge only lasted a few miles before the superheated rubber inside the B&Q pipe crumbled and compacted to form an effective exhaust bung, which then forced the exhaust back pressure to blow the pipe sheathing out of the pipe collar putting me back to square one - Lambretta Sherman Tank ! Still, i was on the road and decided to go for it regardless of the 120 decibels emanating from beneath me.

I arrived back in East Yorkshire by lunchtime, over the moon that the Lamby had got me there and back.

I thoroughly enjoyed the weekend. It was great to say hello again to some of the club members i met at last year's thrash and i have also met some members for the first time and who i got on with like a house on fire ! (how did i end up back at Mik Boon ? .... I digress !)

Over the whole weekend, it felt to me, that the club was a group of likeminded mates as opposed to a set of cliques that just get on well together and that definitely bodes well for the Club and i'm genuinely proud to be a part of it.

Can we vote on next years yet ?... can we ?....oh go on.....are we there yet ?....

Kirk Stevens

Write up on the thrash....

Was my first ever outing with a scooter group, and meeting with the Armed Forces Scooter Club was a big thing for me. I have been out of the Royal Navy for nearly 6 years so to meet with some service guys again was going to be fun. I met the guys at the Wellington pub in Eastwood, mainly because I had a busy weekend and could not make the camping at MFN (gutted). Riding through Eastwood on my way to meet the AFSC for the first time, I felt a little out of place, and then it hit me… the wellington pub, loads of scooters outside and me on a gay typhoon covered in “L” plates. I thought this is going to end bad.
I pulled around the back of the pub, and slipped through a “cutting” to the front of the pub. Parked my scoot and thought, well the website says… if you see AFSC you will get a friendly reply. So I asked the first person I saw, he jumped up and said have you met Si? I said not yet, I’ve just got here.
Since then I met Si and he into’ed me to a lot of the club it seemed like everybody welcomed me to the club,
Thanks guys I cant wait till the next one.

PRELIMINARIES

a. Sy - shark watch normal drills

b. Weather - http://www.bbc.co.uk/weather/ukweather/

c. Ground Orientation -

The location is:

MFN

Eastwood

Nottingham

Shipley Gate

NG16 3JE

Travellers on the M1 from the North, your sat nav will try to spill you out at junction 25 but carry on South and exit junction 26. All M1 travellers exit junction 26 to the roundabout and head for Ripley also signed "Shipley Park"

Follow the A610, the speed limit is 50MPH, 3.5Kms to the next roundabout and take the 4th exit that takes you back the way you came towards the M1.

Exit left after 1.5Kms signed Eastwood.

At the junction turn left and ride 200m to the next junction and turn left signed Shipley Gate.

Ride across the carriageway bridge 100M to the junction and turn left.

400M ride through the disused village, it looks like Imber I kid you not!

Carry on 50M and you are in MFN! Follow the road around to the right and we are on the strip of land on the left hand side of the road.

Camping

Camping area pre booked and marked out for The AFSC.

Shower block

Cost

£12.00 pre booked and £15.00 on the gate

From Dean Murray

http://www.facebook.com/events/209875445704223/

'Bangers & Mash' are proud hosts to this years 'Armed Forces SC' annual thrash

Advance tickets are still available on a first come, first served basis at £12.00 each... ( The gate price is £15.00)

Please message Dean Murray

Band Lineup:

Jesse James & The Outlaws - Friday Night

The Score - Friday Night

The Tennysons - Saturday Afternoon

The Irregulars - Saturday Night

The Ramonas - Saturday Night

Also featuring the Scooterist Olympic Games.....

d. Task Org - Nick and Simon (Secure tented area - BBQ)

- Nick and Simon (BBQ)

- Mik (AFSC Banner)

- Teflon (AFSC CD)

- Sue Boon ic AFSC Ladies

1. SITUATION

En Forces

Friendly Forces

No static speed cameras on the A610

as at 27th Feb 2012

The AFSC

2. MISSION The AFSC are to meet at Bangers & Mash 2012.

3. EXECUTION

a. Concept of Ops.

(1) To mirror the previous successful AFSC meetings getting as much enjoyment out of the weekend as possible.

(2) Scheme of Manoeuvre Friday morning onwards we arrive at MFN. The location will be secured and the tents erected followed by a cats lick and change into drinking trousers. The swamping and falling over will commence. Saturday morning we will ride to The Wellington Inn, Eastwood for breakfast then we will visit Eastwood War Memorial for those who wish to pay their respects. We then return for the fun games and enter as many AFSC teams as possible. Scoff for the evening will be at our AFSC BBQ followed by the traditional burning of the bum cheeks. Then the night do, kip then Sunday breakers (Local Morrisons around the corner) for those brave enough. Farewells, hugs n stuff then ride home.

3) Outline of Phases. This will be a 9 phase operation:

PHASE 1 Take over an area for the AFSC tents

PHASE 2 Set up BBQ area

PHASE 3 Friday night drinking and swamping comp

PHASE 4 Saturday ride out for breakfast

PHASE 5 Visit Eastwood War Memorial

PHASE 6 Saturday return for games

PHASE 7 Saturday AFSC BBQ and drinking comp, burnt bum tattoos optional

PHASE 8 Sunday ride out for breakfast

PHASE 9 Sunday farewells

c. Phases

PRELIM MOV

ROUTE OUT

ACTION IN FRV

Make sure you sort ya scoot out, map up n charge your mobile.

Fuel looks as if it could be a drama so fill up before leaving the M1 and refuel at Morrisons for route out

MFN,
Eastwood
Nottingham
Shipley Gate
NG16 3JE

Nick is QM for this event and he will assistance setting up so all hands to the pumps on this phase

ACTION ON OBJ

Recce Gp

Recce took place on 27th Feb 2012

FRV Protection Gp

Drinking party as per normal drills

Sue Boon to coordinate AFSC Ladies costumes

EXTRACTION

Veh Separated

Veh Lost Simon 07877333236

Veh breakdown

Normal drills

c. Coord Instrs.

Timings	Rehearsals
	Been doing it all year
	P Info/Media
	Photos and write up Dave Gibbs but if any one fancies doing more then please do

d. Summary.

The mission is quite simple and that is to have a good old thrash with some like minded people who work hard and play hard.

The AFSC Annual Thrash Commemorative patch has been put on hold this year to concentrate on BLESMA. The AFSC BLESMA Patch will be available for £5 but if you can't wait, It will cost you £5.50 and all you need do is e-mail Allan at SEW Embroidery stormemb@blueyonder.co.uk

There will also be a free AFSC Music CD for every AFSC Member in attendance! A massive thank you to Lee for kindly doing this.

4. SERVICE SUPPORT

SOP

Variations

The wearing of regimental/service headdress whilst at the war memorial is appropriate and often worn on occasions such as these. The club appreciates that your act of remembrance can be a very personal and private matter, we encourage all AFSC members to bring their headdress.

Dress AFSC Colours as per normal Drills. DPM kilts optional for the evening

AFSC Ladies as per Sue Boon normal drills

AFSC Packing Checklist

http://www.tafsc.com/LIST.htm

CSUPs

If we can fix your broken scooter then we will, there are enough spanner ninjas but please remember to keep them well lubricated

Morrisons is 1.5Kms from the run location, there is a 24hr cash point, off licence and petrol station.

Make sure you are refuelled, 2 stroke oil is available from petrol station